Regulating Emotions
Regulating emotions is a term that psychologists use to describe the process of keeping emotional intensity from rising too high or falling too low for the circumstances. This is admittedly a vague standard. On the one hand, we would generally agree that the individual who becomes so angry in his car that he pulls a gun on the person who cut in front of him in traffic is out of balance. It is harder to assess the employee who calls in sick on the day that layoffs are being announced - is that a realistic reflection of emotion in those circumstances? There are many situations that elicit emotions and it is hard to determine what is appropriate in all circumstances. That is one reason why a mindful stance is so important. Rather than getting caught up in a cycle of emotional reaction to situations, where the reaction begins to affect the situation which then leads to more reacting, it is important to be able to take a mindful step back. Breathe. Notice the internal and external state of being in this moment. Be aware of thoughts and impulses that arise. Make decisions about what will be appropriate within this moment, in this particular circumstance. This mindful response means that the emotions are not controlling your response but you can tap into your values to guide you, even in the trying times that occur in your life.
John Weaver, Psy.D.
