The poet, David Whyte writes, "What is precious inside us does not care to be known by the mind in ways that diminish its presence..." (from The Winter of Listening). It is often difficult to recognize that my way of thinking about myself is less than what I can be. I stop myself from trying something new because it does not match my conception of myself. I justify a decision to settle for less because I am convinced that I would fail if I made the attempt - or maybe it is just more comfortable to believe my rationalization than it it to hold the higher standard of expectation that comes from being the best person I can be even when it is inconvenient. One of the challenges of mindfulness is to become familiar with the capacity of our own life to be richer and fuller than we think it can be, and to not diminish what is precious inside us. The mindful exercise is a way to expand beyond the limits of our own expectations. John Weaver, Psy.D.
Often individuals who are learning to be mindful comment that they are not really sure they want to pay attention to what is going on in their life. In fact, it is common that mindfulness practices are sometimes used in an attempt to distract from what is going on rather than to engage with the difficulties that are part of life. Why does this happen? If we do not pay attention to what is happening in life, it still happens! And there are consequences for the decisions we make or avoid making. Yet we all do it. It is hard to engage when things are painful or disappointing or even just unexciting. Being mindful does not protect us from trouble, but it does provide a way for us to overcome the challenges in life. I have found that it helps to pay attention without pre-judging myself or the situation. It is better if this is done with intention. I try to expand my awareness to include awareness of my emotional state in the moment, as well as the details of the circumstances. What tools do you find helpful to pay attention? John Weaver, Psy.D.
