The great mythological heroes of history engage in a frightening journey in which they confront foes with amazing destructive power and they also must confront inner weaknesses and human failings. The inner struggle is often the most important struggle in these stories.
These myths have an allure to humans because the struggle of the hero is actually our struggle. We confront events and circumstances that hold the potential for devastating our lives. At the same time we must come to terms with our own failings and weakness. The failure to do so is often far more destructive to our life's journey than the external events.
As mindfulness becomes a deepening practice, it is common to become more aware, not only of the present moment. or of the strengths we possess (that is part of being mindfully aware) but also of the weaknesses and failing within that threaten our ability to live in a manner that is true to our deepest values. It takes courage to acknowledge this inner struggle. Yet with mindful awareness and the willingness to make decisions that reflect who we choose to be, we too engage in our own hero's (or heroine's) journey. John Weaver, Psy.D.
I sometimes hear speakers talk about creating good habits for mental events that will make the benefits of being mindful become automatic. I understand the reasoning behind this hope. We can make many complex physical tasks automatic by repeated practice (e.g., riding a bicycle) so it seems logical to extend this to complex mental tasks.
In my opinion, however, I do not think it is possible to do it. Automatic physical skills allow the conscious portion of the brain to focus on goals for action. The physical skills will support the achievement of those goals. In other words, physical skills are not pursued for their own sake but because they allow us to engage in tasks we consciously choose to be important.
Choosing an action or an attitude that brings real happiness in life ought to be a conscious choice. Imagine being happy but not noticing it! We develop habits so that we can choose to engage in awareness of the important things in life.
So, while I believe that regular practice with mindfulness will provide a familiarity with being conscious of my life, I do not ever want that process to become automatic. I want to live my life consciously, making the important choices that will move me toward living in accord with my deepest values.
John Weaver, Psy.D.
Everyone who attempts to establish a mindfulness practice will have to face the challenge of boredom. Taking the time to sit in a quiet place and focus on the breath results in a greater awareness of all aspects of experience. And boredom is an aspect of experience.
In our current society, is seems as though there are a lot of products that are aimed at alleviating this "problem." We have hundreds of channels on television, we have radios/CD players in our vehicles. We have portable MP3 players, some that allow connection to the web so we can view email or stock quotes at any time. With all of this, human still become bored.
It can be quite helpful to become mindful of the boredom in your life and of the ways you react to it. It can be quiet helpful to become more tolerant boredom so that you will have the ability to let go of the reactive rush to fill the space with something else and to see the small and subtle things in your life that you may have otherwise overlooked. The next time you face boredom in your mindfulness practice, treat it as you would any other experience and see what you can learn from it. John Weaver, Psy.D.
One image that I use with my mindfulness practice is the image of being a mountain. Storms of emotion come up just like rainstorms and snowstorms come up and batter the mountain for a time. Then these storms pass on, and the mountain remains. There are times of emotional distress that occur in everyone's life. Mindfulness is not a way of escaping this, it is a way of being aware of the emotional distress while holding it in a bigger context. The mountain does not need to flee or even be frightened by storms. Storms arise, last for a while, and then move on. The mountain is not destroyed by the storm, it is simply one of many events that occur. Emotions, like storms are constantly changing. It can be quite helpful to learn that the distress that I feel now is not a permanent condition (even though it can feel like it sometimes). It can be quite helpful to remember that there is something more stable, at a deeper level, than the painful emotions of a particular moment. Mindfulness does not prevent emotional distress, but it allows us to see it differently, in a broader context. John Weaver, Psy.D.
In research done by Zindel Segal, Ph.D. from the University of Toronto, individuals who had a history of major depression, but who had recovered from that episode had thought patterns that were indistinguishable from people who had never been depressed. But when those who had previously been depressed were exposed to something that made them sad, their thinking quickly deteriorated to show the negative patterns of self-doubt, expectations of doom and ruminations about troubles that are characteristic of the depressed thinking, while those who were never previously depressed did not think this way. It is as if the mind develops "habits" of thought and when situations arise that remind us of something in our past, the mind brings those old thought patterns back to conscious awareness. These habits persist and are accessible even after we have recovered from emotional distress. When some new distress arises, the old ways of thinking also arise. One of the benefits of a mindfulness practice is that, when these habits arise, we can recognize them as old ways of thinking rather than infuse them with a belief that pushes us into emotional turmoil. By reminding ourself that it is just a habit, we can continue to make the choices that support emotional health in our day to day life. John Weaver, Psy.D.
I recently made the statement, "we are not our thoughts" to someone who was beginning the process of learning mindfulness skills. She asked, "If we are not our thoughts, then who are we?" It was a good question that I confess I was not quite prepared to answer and it led me to do some reflection. We are clearly not our thoughts because our thoughts are constantly changing. Moment to moment, thoughts emerge and dominate attention for a while, then recede only to be replaced by other thoughts. What I think today is not what I thought last year or five years ago. But I still experience myself as the same person. Perhaps that is why some Eastern traditions say that the concept of "self" is an illusion. What we commonly think of as self - body, emotion, thought - is in constant flux. Yet there is something that is stable about how i experience my existence. For me, there is a stability in my values, in what I hold important in my life, that is more constant than the ever changing body, emotion, and thought. I am able to be clearer about my deepest values be taking the time for a quiet paying attention. Mindfulness is a tool for reminding myself to choose actions that will foster those values and make my life more in tune with what I hold to be most important. John Weaver, Psy.D.
