Mindfulness and Emotional Distress
There are normal fluctuations in mood that are common to every human being. Sometimes we are happier, sometimes we are sadder, and sometimes we are more fearful than other times. It is normal to hope that there is a skill we can learn that will lead to feeling better. But this hope can lead us to wishful thinking that all of our emotional distress can be eliminated from life.
In reality, the complete elimination of all sadness or anxiety would not be good for us. Emotions provide us with valuable information about ourselves and our place in the world. Sadness is a normal response to loss of something important to us. Anxiety provides us with a reminder that we must be careful. Each emotion has its place.
The problem we face with emotion occurs when we react to sadness, or fear, or anger without mindfully paying attention to the context in which they arise. We need to make choices that are in line with our deepest values. We need to think about how our choices will affect those around us. There are times when an emotion helps us to pay attention to some aspect of our experience that we might otherwise miss. There are other times when we need to make a decision that minimizes the importance of our emotions because there is a long range value that we choose to pursue rather than giving in to a transient emotion. Choices like these must be made with a mindful awareness of what is going on in the present moment and what we consider to be the deepest values that guide our lives.
Mindfulness does not eliminate our emotional states but the skill of being more conscious and aware makes it possible to change the relationship with our emotions so that we do not just react to what we feel, we notice it and make choices about how to respond. John Weaver, Psy.D.
